miss-love

I’ve said this before and I’ll point it out again -

Menstruation is caused by change in hormonal levels to stop the creation of a uterine lining and encourage the body to flush the lining out. The body does this by lowering estrogen levels and raising testosterone.

Or, to put it more plainly “That time of the month” is when female hormones most closely resemble male hormones. So if (cis) women aren’t suited to office at “That time of the month” then (cis) men are NEVER suited to office.

If you are a dude and don’t dig the ladies around you at their time of the month, just think! That is you all of the time.

And, on a final note, post-menopausal (cis) women are the most hormonally stable of all human demographics. They have fewer hormonal fluctuations of anyone, meaning older women like Hilary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren would theoretically be among the least likely candidates to make an irrational decision due to hormonal fluctuations, and if we were basing our leadership decisions on hormone levels, then only women over fifty should ever be allowed to hold office.

sogandzakerhaghighi
thepeoplesrecord:

Nearly 1,200 missing, murdered aboriginal women in CanadaMay 4, 2014
The official tally of missing and murdered aboriginal women in Canada has hit nearly 1,200—and it’s not Native groups giving this number, it’s the country’s own police force.
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) on Thursday May 1 confirmed to reporters that its own tally had yielded 1,186 cases of indigenous women—1.026 who had been murdered and 160 of whom are missing—over the past 30 years. This dwarfed the previous high number of 824 determined by a researcher in Ottawa earlier this year, as the Winnipeg Free Press  reported in January. Even that number was higher than figures compiled by the Native Women’s Association of Canada, which had documented 582 cases.
The latest revelation came after the Aboriginal Peoples Television Network (APTN) learned on April 30 that “more than 1,000” women had been documented as missing or murdered. The RCMP would “not confirm or deny” that number,APTN reported.
On May 1, RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulsen revealed the exact number to reporters after testifying before a Parliamentary committee,APTN said. The RCMP will release the full data within a month, Public Safety Minister Steven Blaney told the committee, according to APTN.
Reaction has been swift and outraged, starting with the official Opposition New Democratic Party (NDP).
“The Ottawa area has about a million inhabitants,” said NDP leader Tom Mulcair, according to APTN. “Imagine if a thousand women had been murdered or missing in Ottawa. Do you think we’d have to beg for an inquiry?”
The revelations sparked repeated calls for a national inquiry into the issue, which the government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper has repeatedly said it would not do.
Blaney told Parliament that an inquiry would not serve as much purpose as the $25 million that has been allocated for the issue in the Conservative government’s federal budget for 2014, the Canadian Press reported.
In all, aboriginal women are three times more likely to become the target of violence than non-aboriginal women, according to government data reported by the Star in January. Several high-profile cases over the years have brought attention to the matter. Last year the body of 25-year-old Bella Laboucan-McLean, the sister of environmental and indigenous-rights activist Melina Laboucan-Massimo, was found at the foot of a high-rise in Toronto last July. Although six people were inside the condo that she fell from on the 31st floor, her death remains unsolved.
Earlier this year the case of murdered Inuit student Loretta Saunders broke hearts across the country but especially in Halifax, Nova Scotia, where she had been researching the issue of missing and murdered aboriginal women for her thesis at Saint Mary’s University.
In her research, which her advisor Darryl Leroux called brilliant, the pregnant 26-year-old wrote about the ongoing effects of colonialism on the perception and treatment of indigenous women.
“Despite feeling hesitant at times, I refuse to remain quiet, feel ashamed and embarrassed about the struggles and hardships that were strategically developed and designed for me through colonial practices and policies as well as societal norms that emerged as part of the colonizers plan to assimilate and eliminate Indigenous peoples,” Saunders wrote in her thesis proposal, released by Leroux and her sister. “I refuse to allow my past dictate my future and define who I am.”
Source

thepeoplesrecord:

Nearly 1,200 missing, murdered aboriginal women in Canada
May 4, 2014

The official tally of missing and murdered aboriginal women in Canada has hit nearly 1,200—and it’s not Native groups giving this number, it’s the country’s own police force.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) on Thursday May 1 confirmed to reporters that its own tally had yielded 1,186 cases of indigenous women—1.026 who had been murdered and 160 of whom are missing—over the past 30 years. This dwarfed the previous high number of 824 determined by a researcher in Ottawa earlier this year, as the Winnipeg Free Press  reported in January. Even that number was higher than figures compiled by the Native Women’s Association of Canada, which had documented 582 cases.

The latest revelation came after the Aboriginal Peoples Television Network (APTN) learned on April 30 that “more than 1,000” women had been documented as missing or murdered. The RCMP would “not confirm or deny” that number,APTN reported.

On May 1, RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulsen revealed the exact number to reporters after testifying before a Parliamentary committee,APTN said. The RCMP will release the full data within a month, Public Safety Minister Steven Blaney told the committee, according to APTN.

Reaction has been swift and outraged, starting with the official Opposition New Democratic Party (NDP).

“The Ottawa area has about a million inhabitants,” said NDP leader Tom Mulcair, according to APTN. “Imagine if a thousand women had been murdered or missing in Ottawa. Do you think we’d have to beg for an inquiry?”

The revelations sparked repeated calls for a national inquiry into the issue, which the government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper has repeatedly said it would not do.

Blaney told Parliament that an inquiry would not serve as much purpose as the $25 million that has been allocated for the issue in the Conservative government’s federal budget for 2014, the Canadian Press reported.

In all, aboriginal women are three times more likely to become the target of violence than non-aboriginal women, according to government data reported by the Star in January. Several high-profile cases over the years have brought attention to the matter. Last year the body of 25-year-old Bella Laboucan-McLean, the sister of environmental and indigenous-rights activist Melina Laboucan-Massimo, was found at the foot of a high-rise in Toronto last July. Although six people were inside the condo that she fell from on the 31st floor, her death remains unsolved.

Earlier this year the case of murdered Inuit student Loretta Saunders broke hearts across the country but especially in Halifax, Nova Scotia, where she had been researching the issue of missing and murdered aboriginal women for her thesis at Saint Mary’s University.

In her research, which her advisor Darryl Leroux called brilliant, the pregnant 26-year-old wrote about the ongoing effects of colonialism on the perception and treatment of indigenous women.

“Despite feeling hesitant at times, I refuse to remain quiet, feel ashamed and embarrassed about the struggles and hardships that were strategically developed and designed for me through colonial practices and policies as well as societal norms that emerged as part of the colonizers plan to assimilate and eliminate Indigenous peoples,” Saunders wrote in her thesis proposal, released by Leroux and her sister. “I refuse to allow my past dictate my future and define who I am.”

Source

miss-love
‘Men get raped and molested,’ should be a whole sentence. If you have to tack on the word ‘too,’ then you’re using the experience of male victims to silence females instead of giving them their own space.

(via goldenphoenixgirl)

Not sure if I’ve reblogged this before but it always bears repeating.

(via thebicker)

If the only time you talk about male rape survivors is when you are interrupting women and non-binary people talking about sexual assault statistics and their own experiences, don’t pretend you give a shit about male rape survivors.

(via misandry-mermaid)

sogandzakerhaghighi
jrahrah:

"Don’t let anybody tell you not to be angry. We have every right to be angry. We have every reason to be angry. And we ARE angry. And the reason that we’re angry — the reason we are angry — is because this is OUR country, and they took our government and imprisoned our queen — right here she was imprisoned in her palace. And they banned our language. And then they forcibly made us a state of the racist, colonialist United States of colonial America. Do you have a right to be angry? Of course you do. Of course you do!"
Speech by the Native Hawaiian Leader Haunani-Kay Trask for the 1993 Centennial Commemoration of the American overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom at ‘ Iolani Palace, Honolulu

jrahrah:

"Don’t let anybody tell you not to be angry. We have every right to be angry. We have every reason to be angry. And we ARE angry. And the reason that we’re angry — the reason we are angry — is because this is OUR country, and they took our government and imprisoned our queen — right here she was imprisoned in her palace. And they banned our language. And then they forcibly made us a state of the racist, colonialist United States of colonial America. Do you have a right to be angry? Of course you do. Of course you do!"

Speech by the Native Hawaiian Leader Haunani-Kay Trask for the 1993 Centennial Commemoration of the American overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom at ‘ Iolani Palace, Honolulu

selfcareafterrape

Anonymous asked:

I just want to stop feeling like this. Like i could have stopped it. I could have fought harder. I could have screamed. I could have just not been so stupid to be in that situation. I think about what happened every second of every day and at night i have nightmares about it. I cant eat and i cant sleep. Im terrified of everything and i cant take it much longer. I want to die. Does it ever get better? Please tell me how to get better

selfcareafterrape answered:

We get a lot of asks “does it ever get better?” And you know, it does. It also gets worse. And it stays the same. The ways we feel about our experiences are… varied. I feel better today. Yesterday, I felt worse than I did the day before. That’s what I mean. Even in the space of a day, things can change.

But the thing is… they change. For many of us, over time, things are better more consistently. And that’s a wonderful thing. I can’t tell you how much time. But I do believe that can happen.

As far as the thoughts about having been able to stop it, that you should have fought harder, I’m gonna target something specific because I think it’ll be the most helpful. (If you need something else, please feel free to say so.) In your ask, you said, “I wanna stop feeling like….” And that’s fine, but there’s an important thing to note here: These are not feelings. They are thoughts. It’s not wrong to say the other word, but there’s something good about them being thoughts instead of feelings.

Thoughts can be changed.

So when you have one of those thoughts, you can fight back against it by reframing it in a way that’s more compatible with a positive frame of reference for yourself. For instance, I often think, “I deserved it.” So I’m working on thinking “I was told that I deserved it, but no one deserves to be abused.” Whatever you choose to say to reframe your own thoughts, just make sure that they are absolutely judgment free.

And I’m saying this, and it sounds easy the way I’m saying it. I’m sorry for that. It’s not easy. It’s super super hard. But it can be done. The best way I’ve found personally is to start by spending two weeks noticing every time I have a thought that is not compatible with my recovery. Write it down. Keep a log. And then start immediately saying, “okay, I’ve had that thought again, and I’m going to remind myself that it’s not true.” Then you can say your alternate statement. Once you’ve been doing that for a while, you can switch to just immediately saying the replacement sentence.

The timelines I’ve provided are vague, and they may not work for you. You’re welcome to develop your own of course. I also didn’t offer replacement statements for your thoughts because it’s going to be much more meaningful to you if you can come up with them yourself. That part is tough too, but even just that is a major accomplishment.

While I think this is all good advice from my perspective, in case it’s not what you need or all of what you need right now, I’m just going to say…. Literally nothing that happened falls anywhere on your shoulders. None of this is your fault. None of it. I literally don’t care if you had a running chainsaw in your hand and chose not to use (or were too scared to use it), it is still not your fault. It’s literally so effing far from being your fault.

You did nothing wrong.

Please take care.

-M

#rape tw
#rape cw
#self-blame

selfcareafterrape

selfcareafterrape:

"He was selfish"

How about we not do that. If the words ‘selfish’ and ‘suicide’ leave your mouth together, I want you to consider how selfish -you- are being.

Depression, bi-polar, trauma, addiction, and all the other things that lead to the end of a life… aren’t easy to cope with. The fact that…

selfcareafterrape

itstotallyher:

Coercive rape is not often spoken about. Victim blaming and rape culture have created a shell around this form of abuse that most victims feel powerless to break through. ”I said yes, so it wasn’t rape,” is only half of the story.

When I was 19, I fell in love. We started out…

ughbennylafitte

ughbennylafitte:

On an evening such as this
It’s hard to tell if I exist
Pack the car and leave this town
Who’ll notice that I’m not around?

I could hide out under there
I just made you say “underwear”
I could leave but I’ll just stay
All my stuff’s here anyway

One of my absolute favorite BNL songs. I makes me all existential and stuff but then pulls me right back out of it because it’s so funny I can’t help but feel better. BNL really has a habit of making you think.

selfcareafterrape

Anonymous asked:

i'm so lonely, none of my friends are survivors and none of them really get it, i guess, i try to talk about things and all they can ever offer is platitudes and none of it helps and anyway i'm tired of being the hysterical traumatized friend who can't talk about anything except being raped. but i can barely think about anything except being raped so i can barely have a conversation about anything else but talking about it is so fucking useless. i'm so alone and miserable and scared and in pain.

selfcareafterrape answered:

This is, in my opinion, one of the toughest things about being a survivor. There is a desperate need to talk about your experience and often nowhere appropriate to talk. It’s not that our non-survivor friends don’t care. It’s more complicated than that, I think. I think it’s a combination of “I don’t know what to say” and “your experiences make me uncomfortable.” And then, of course, that creates a nearly impossible situation for us where we are not getting our needs met and don’t know how to fix it.

I’ve done a few things to address this in my life, and I am gonna share them with you. I can’t guarantee they’ll work for you, but if they don’t, I encourage others (followers, mods) to offer other suggestions.

The first and most important thing I did was make friends with other survivors who are at various stages in their recovery. I know this sounds impossible. And I thought it was for a while, but then I joined tumblr. And I found thousands of us. And I went to a face-to-face peer support group, and I found some more. One thing I’ve noted, too, is that other survivors tend to be more okay with you saying, “I can’t deal with that right now. I’m sorry.” And that… is essential to recovery… friends who are okay with you setting limits.

Another thing I did was find other ways to constantly talk about it. I’m lucky in that I was trained as a writer so blogging about it, writing creatively, that was very easy for me to slip into. You could also make art. You could sing.

I watch movies and TV shows that have this content. (This one you have to be careful with because it can be super damaging if you’re not in the right frame of mind.) In general, I like it because it either shows an average trajectory after rape/abuse, revenge (which I fucking love so hard), or system reacting appropriately (which is not what happened when I reported), and all that gives me satisfaction.

The final thing I do is practice redirecting my thoughts. I don’t do that to please others. I do it because constantly thinking about my dad causes me pain, and I don’t deserve to be in pain. Neither do you. If you know of anything that has been effective at distracting you, I encourage you to put more of that into your life. I use movies. And my chihuahua.

Lastly, a lot of people might encourage you to get new friends. I’m not going to do that. I believe that people have different functions in our lives. I have two BFFs. One knows everything and listens when I need to talk. The other knows everything and brings up Carpenter’s The Fog when I’m upset. Both of these are equally useful. The trick is learning which one you need so that you can call the right person. I make mistakes in this area all the time. I realize I called the wrong person, and I find myself saying, “This is not what I need right now!” It’s okay if that happens. Just keep listening to yourself, and you’ll get it right eventually. But it’s like… I had this therapist… I was moaning about one of my friends not understanding, and she was like, “don’t go to the hardware store for milk,” and that shit blew my mind. Sometimes you need the hardware store. Sometimes you need the market. And it’s cool if it’s not all in the same place.

I should add that it is also possible to talk to your friends about this and explain how you’re feeling. If you think they could be the right kind of support, this might be worth pursuing. I use DEAR MAN when having tough conversations, and I can’t recommend it enough.

I hope some of this was helpful, and I wish you good luck. Take care.

-M

#rape cw